I think I need this thing

Well I've been back and using the internet for a few weeks. Haven't really felt the need to write here, at least in the same way as I used to. But in the past few weeks, I have done nothing. Sat around. Ate pizza with friends. Saw a movie. That is it. I can't stand how little I have done. It's not like I have a job or education or something to distract me. Hell, I could at least put effort into finding a job. That might help things. At least the debt. So before I get side-tracked, I seem to do more (at least productive things) when I am writing in this. I seem to be a better person too. So I'm getting back into the habit.

It seems I am over that girl. Did nothing, despite promising myself I would. My attitude to this seems to swing so much. One moment I am indifferent, the next I am hit by a urge. These days I am mostly indifferent, I have given up caring. Which irritates me, but maybe I can find something new to care about.

So nothing really new to write here, I might get around to typing up some story I wrote weeks ago, if only for the sake of keeping myself from losing it. I guess I could write about my future, which might help to make me actually make sense of it. Despite me wanting desperately to spend the year working and saving up enough money to travel, my parents seemed to think that finding work is impossible for one such as me (Ironically, if I can use the word, the main reason I want to travel is to get away from them). So this year I will be studying at university for a degree I have no interest in. I really need to get out of here. Studying at a university does not seem to be the way to go (especially seeing as it will only add to my already relatively large debt, which makes traveling even harder). But if I am too pansy to actually walk out my door and do my own thing, I guess this is what I get. Although it does have the benefits of accomodation and food. And free fuel.

Woah. Writing about it has really made me regret agreeing to go to university this year. I swear one of these days I am going to snap, sell my car, fly to some foreign country with $20 in my pocket and stay there until I get kicked out by immigration or earn enough to fly to another random country. Although I really doubt that will happen. Damn my rational thinking mind. It would be so useful sometimes to be even just a little insane.