Time is a funny thing...

When you are short of it, it seems impossible to have too much. But that is exactly what I now have. And after so long being so short on it, I feel the stuff is too precious to waste. Are my days of just lounging around letting time go by without a worry over? As it slips away I feel like I am actually losing something, it is an uncomfortable sensation. I need something to do, I can't let this time slip by untouched. But I still never get round to doing stuff. Screw it, I will make the effort. I am going to take up reading again. I am going to become conversational in Russian. I am going to get a functional knowledge of French and German. I probably should go out more. Trouble is I have nowhere to go... Hmmm. I am going to get a job, or at least find one. And a good one too, not just a fast food one. I am going to become better at drawing. I am going to make something. I am going to build a fort in the bush behind my house. I am going to get fit. Seriously. I am going to find somewhere new, somewhere I have never been before. I love exploring. Maybe get better at guitar. Most importantly, I need to find a way out. This place is not my home, and for the first time in my life there is nothing stopping me freeing myself (except money). If I save up for an airfare and just get out of here, could that work? You always hear stories of those immigrants who show up in the land of opportunity with nothing but a $5 note and an optimistic attitude. Does that even work these days? Probably not, but I guess it's worth a shot. I doubt I will do it though.

I hope I do end up doing those things. Spending all this time with myself is starting to drive me crazy I think. I reach conclusions, logical, inarguable conclusions, that seem so out of tune with everyone else. In the words of Peter Dolving "Going insane's overrated, I was right all along; You're all the monsters - I am the normal one". I really enjoyed that album (The Dead Eye by The Haunted). One of my all time favourites.

Edit: And I am definitely going to either rent out or buy every single episode of Simon Pegg's Spaced. I LOVE that show.