This thing is better than I thought.

Was just reading through everything I put up here, and I have to say I am thankful for it. It was actually really interesting for me to go through and see how things have changed this year. Probably wouldn't be for anyone else, but they are not the reason I write this thing. It also reminded me how much that girl means to me. And why I can't let her go like the other times, why I have to actually give this my all. Which I will. Of course...

Was also an interesting experience to leave comments on the things, tiny attempts to communicate with my past self. He will never get them, but I find it a strangely enjoyable activity. I wonder what future self will think of them. It would be really interesting to have a conversation with my future self. Or my past self. But causality has to be the most irritating law of physics. Things would be a lot better if effects occurred before the cause. Although I suppose the paradoxes would be a problem, but we could just pretend they never happened and enjoy our lottery wins. Of which, at this point of my life, a considerable portion would be spent on training monkey butlers. Who would wear suits. And there would be a leader monkey, with a top hat, tail coat and monocle called Darwin. Oh what I would do for a monkey. Life goals list NOW:

• Own a pet monkey
• Catch an ibis and touch the back of its head. It must be done.
• Hedge maze (this one is probably inspired by that girl, but I think it was on the list before then, not quite sure)
• Do a bunch of jobs that people find hard to believe, leading to awesome stories at parties. (Yeah I was an elephant keeper for a few months in Moscow/busker/spy/con-artist)
• Pretend to have done jobs that people find hard to believe, just to have awesome stories at parties.
  
• When wherever I live starts to get boring, disappear for a while, ending up in some random country miles from anyone I know, from which I could make that one phone call I have always wanted to make (Hey ____, hows it been. I am actually in Latvia. Yeah, the tiny European country Latvia. No I do not speak Latvian. Yes I need to get out of here, some people here at the pub are looking a little too much at my kidneys.(or some other crazy awesome story that will inevitably happen from such a situation)).
• Pretend to be someone else to a bunch of people I recently met, to the point I may never tell them I am actually just an Australian student, not the disowned son of a Russian billionaire.
• Layout a crazy detailed plan, everything taken into account to the nth degree, then enacting it. The plan can be for anything, from a heist (which would be insane) to a really roundabout way of getting someone to buy me a very specific lunch.
• Do something that gets everyone talking, but no one ever realises was me. Like some insane graffiti thing, or certain stickers everywhere like the pixelman.
• Find the Pixelman. In case you have forgotten future self, he is what I call whoever is putting up stickers of a man made of pixels. He gets them everywhere, highways, even down in Brisbane. To be fair though, it looks like he has also expanded to putting up the ghosts from pacman. I must find this man.

Well that is quite a list. If I end up doing even 3 of them I will die a happy man.

Two more things. I died a little on the inside the other week. Me and a friend were discussing how good it was to be a kid. I AM STILL A KID AND WILL BE FOR ANOTHER 6 MONTHS. I can remember being a kid, and talking about how everyone who is not a kid looks back on being a kid as the best, and thinking how wrong they were. When I was a kid, I though being a kid was over-rated. Damn I am getting older.

The other is, well, you know how you unconsiously link certain songs to certain times of your life? Listening to Passenger instantly takes me back to depression. Others make me remember my primary school days, or particular women problems. Hell, certain songs off Shadow Zone by Static-X make me remember my days of Warhammer 40k. I need new songs for now. I want to imprint my emotions now on some music, so I can relive them in years time. Perhaps Mechanical Poet can be that music.

Edit: Nope, looks like that music will be Tiger Lou. Very impressed.