Что я делаю?

I do not know what I am doing. I have no plan. All I know is what I want, everything else is just grasping at straws. All I want is someone to talk to, a real friend. Not the kind that makes the rest of me hide behind my social face. Someone I can be myself around. This girl was my only hope. She seems to have dissapeared. Just when I built up the courage to talk to her. I suppose I dissapeared this week, that reply freaked me out and I spent days just lying around working out what to do. I doubt she dissapeared for the same reasons though.

Perhaps I have spent too much time around myself. That always makes me go a little crazy, especially when I haven't been distracting myself from my thoughts with games or movies. Like the man who refuses to sleep because his nightmares drive him insane, I distract myself from my own thoughts to stay sane. Or at least sanity of a kind. Going insane would be quite an experience. I suppose the best thing about it is everything stays just as logical to you, but you no longer make sense to others. Which would be quite the reversal.

Well no matter how depressed, unsure, confused or insecure I am, no matter how much I complain, time goes on. And awesome music is being played. And stories are being made. I just hope my own has a happy ending, but I suppose that just depends on where my story ends.