2

I am so tired of just waiting. For once I will try and do something. I have at least some kind of plan, which typically minimises my losses as much as is humanely possible to the extent that it barely counts as a risk. But it still is to me. 2 Days. Do all I can in those two days, because the last thing I want to do is lose her. Once it is over, no matter what, I will come clean. Say it to her face or at least let her know. The game is almost over, and I am walking a knife edge again. Again, I sicken myself, but I hope that will change. Oh God I hope that will change.

2 Days. I will do this.