Lost?

I dont really know where to go from here. I am trying to create something by the way, but so much of my time just seems to be wasted. I honestly just feel lost. Dont know what to do about that girl, which means that I will most likely end up doing nothing. And losing. As usually happens.

I have been dreaming recently. That is a pretty big thing for me, I very rarely dream, so the ones I get I treasure. The ones I have had recently though could hardly be called dreams though. Mostly they just seem to be memories. So often now I have to think about something I remember to be sure it happened or not. Dissapointingly, the best things I remember never happened. Which sucks.

Ever noticed how wonderful this place can be with a different perspective? This world, just a bunch of seemingly random crap happening to each and every one of us, has no story, no real hidden beauty lying beneath the surface waiting for us to see it. But thats the best bit about being human. We make the stories, we create our beauty. Find the stories, and the world can be a beautiful place. I just never seem to be able to play my part in my stories. The ones from my perspective never have endings, neither happy or sad. Everyone elses stories seem better, although, as I said before, it is all a matter of perspective.

I need to play my role, make my story beautiful. Because a beautiful story is the best bit about being human.

I'm a bit all over the place at the moment, but I now have a favourite way of looking at things.