More Cra-things...

Instead of an untraceable collection of knowledge that could not be directly related to me this blog has become more of a collection of the crap in my mind. Not the worthwhile things either, just random stuff that is hardly worth reading. Like the hat thing. Why? Unfortunately, as this is meant to be representative of myself at that moment in time, I cant allow the present version of myself to go about censoring my past self. Then the thing would only show what my present self was happy with, which kind of defies its new purpose.

Anyway, back to the stuff currently on my mind. That girl again. Why am I so goddam insecure and confidence lacking? It honestly annoys me, but I am too scared to actually change. I will see her on MSN, and want to talk to her. So badly. But I am too, I don't even know if scared is the right word, but I just feel I cant. Which is why seeing others do it annoys me, that little bit inside me goes 'You cant do that'. You probably want to hit me right now future self. Well you cant, and no matter how bad you feel now I know nothing of it, so I will keep doing things that are likely to cause you harm. Ha. Any way. I am promising myself (although my promises to myself are generally just things I do if I feel like it, not because I promised) to show my girl friend this site. When I get one. And only if she is that cool. Which she should be if she is my girlfriend. My god I sound sad. So if you are reading this right now future girlfriend of my future self (which I doubt, trust me, I know my future self pretty well, kind off, and I doubt it. 17 years of failure don't really fill me with confidence) I hope you are cool with all this. Please. Understand it. This is me, the real me I suppose or as close as you can get to it. So hmmmm. Yeah. Your probably kicking yourself future self. Either your trying to find an excuse to stop my future girlfriend reading this or (more likely) you're thinking that your past self was just a little over hopeful. If you are neither my future self or my future self's (possible) girlfriend, welcome. Get used to all this crazy stuff. This is my thing. Unless you comment. Then I will get a lot more self conscious and put a heap more effort into these posts.