Breaking News

Ok, I don't really have much news, and the little news I have is not breaking. I lied. Well, it is time again for me to forcibly vomit my opinions into the world in a literary fashion. Still kinda into that girl. Still disgusted at my own gutlessness. I promised my self I would actually begin a conversation on msn today with her. Well the good news is I made the attempt, which surprised even me. The bad news is that I am so socially inept my words dripped with awkwardness, killing it ridiculously fast. Go Go Gadget Social Suicide. Wait no, that kicks in automatically. Damn it. Perhaps my whole mindset is wrong. Well I can say fairly confidently that it only came on after the failure, before it I had myself pumped up on my own special brand of confidence (specifically lying to myself until I am almost convinced I have a chance).

Ahhh, social ineptitude. My only super power. I need help, badly. I need something at least. I need to get out of here. Ahh well, perhaps romance isn't all its cracked up to be. Allow me to consider for a moment my entire life without it (no effort is needed for the first 17 years so far).

Go to university. Make a couple of friends, which leads to awkward moments as they discuss their experiences with women.
Get a moderately successful job, allowing me to live alone.
Slowly lose my friends one by one as they grow families like time consuming gardens.
Achieve moderate success in my workplace, which has become my only place for social interaction. My social contact is limited to polite small talk in elevators.
Become more and more cynical to the world, because it has done almost nothing for me. It is also at this point that I will lose my sense of humour, and develop a hatred for teenagers. Especially the happy ones.
Due to my loss of almost all social contact, all social skills I have developed begin to leave me, leading to even the superficial small talk that is the highlight of each day for me becoming another moment of embarrassment as I fail to conform to the social norms necessary for pleasant interaction (these norms include eye contact, coherent sentences and the ability to ask appropriate questions).
Eventually after retiring the Internet becomes my home, with nothing else to do I eventually die in front of a computer screen. After a few months the postman notices the uncollected post piling up and considers taking action. He does not. After a number of years a property developer looking to buy the house realises that by all accounts there should be someone living in this seemingly abandoned dwelling. After a number of inquiries the police are summoned, only to find my long forgotten skeleton still in front of the computer screen saver.

Hmm, there is little that entices me in that style of life. Seems like it is women or suicide really. Oh, if your reading this, I am not actually going to commit suicide if I don't get a girlfriend. Those are just the only two options in avoiding the over exaggerated prediction above. Although you probably already knew that future self.

Ahhhh. Please God? I need a girlfriend. While I am at it, might as well make it a perfect girlfriend, a perfect companion for me in every way.

It is kind of funny the pain that comes from humanity's innate desire to reproduce. Is it even all that I imagine it to be?